Thursday, May 25, 2006

President Clueless

Dubya explains it all to the 'Merkin Peeple (quotes from a Washington Post article, with a tip'o'da'hat to Think Progress for the link):

I have said to the American people: As the Iraqis stand up, we'll stand down. But I've also said that our commanders on the ground will make that decision....

Well, I guess that "I'm the Decider" didn't last too long...

The American people need to know that we'll keep the force level there necessary to win. And it's important for the American people to know that politics isn't going to make the decision as to the size of our force level; the conditions on the ground will make the decision.

Yep. "The Decider" is definitely out.... Someone must have been watching Jon Stewart's The Daily Show, and told The Decider that he was making himself just too easy a target....

And part of the conditions on the ground is a new government. And we believe the new government is going to make a big difference from the lives of the Iraqi people.

Well, if new gummints are the trick to happiness and prosperity, by now the Iraqis should be rolling in clover. They've had -- is it three? or four? -- gummints in the last few years. Certainly that many elections ... people are running out of fingers to dye purple. And as we can clearly see, things have improved with each and every one....

I told you earlier that when you attack an Iraqi now you're, you know, you're at war with an Iraqi government that's constitutionally elected, and that's a different attitude from the way it's been in the past.

I'm sure the people with the guns and IEDs over there are going to ask: "Say, are you a constitutionally elected official? Yes? Oh, so sorry, nevermind, I'll just be on my way...." In fact, I bet all the new ministers have given up their bodygua... -- umm, second thought, anyone want to start a "Dead Pool" on the new gummint ministers instead?

Yep. Amazingly enough, that's the level of thinking of the Leader Of The Free World. Sad to say, I think they (or at least Dubya) really believe this ... despite all the reports to the contrary by even our own government agencies and military. You'd almost think that the "F**king Stupidest Guy On The Face Of The Earth", Douglas Feith, was working for Dubya, and maybe even working on this kind of 'planning'. Oh. Wait. That's right, he was....

Oh, yeah, almost forgot: Lapdog Blair was there at the news conference too. So was he able to add an ounce of sanity to the proceedings? Well, let's see, what did the nominally sane and coherent Blair have to say?:
Secondly, what they [the new gummint] intend is to come down very hard on those people who want to create the circumstances where it's difficult for the Iraqi forces to be in control.

"Hello? Abu Ghraib? Hose down the floors, we're back in business..."

And the truth of the matter is: There is no excuse now for anyone to engage in violence in Iraq.

Oh, glad you took away the excuses, Tony. That will stop 'em in their tracks. But perhaps you might have thought about taking away the weapons?!?!? Like the tons of explosives and arms you and Dubya left unguarded for weeks after the invasion?

*sheesh* Blair has caught "the stoopids" from Dubya. Was it the holding hands or the butt-sucking, you think?...

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Dubya explains it all!

Well, good thing we have The Decider to explain things to us.

According to
Bush, making a hastily scheduled appearance at the White House, said the government is "fiercely'' protecting the privacy of ordinary citizens....
... by trying to get a "pen register" type wiretap on every phone line in the entire country....

Yes, indeedy. Now I feel better.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Let's remember our respective roles

King George "Rutherford B. Hayes" Bush the Second offered this gem:
"I'm the decider"
No, no, no. It's (still) a democracy, and we are the deciders. We get to decide what we think. May I proffer this alternative:

"You are a moron."

In the end, you'll see that I'm right.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

"Democrat" Steny Hoyer won't get my money

Each time nowadays when the DCCC calls, I have to tell them they won't get my money this election year unless and until they can prove to me they've grown some balls.

DC insider newspaper The Hill reported this unfathomable behaviour from the man who purports to be second-in-command in the Democratic House delegation:
House Minority Whip Steny Hoyer (D-Md.) took on a rare role yesterday as a defender of President Bush.

Hoyer came to the defense of the commander in chief after Saturday’s White House Correspondents’ Association dinner, where the president took a drubbing from comedian Stephen Colbert.

“I thought some of it was funny, but I think it got a little rough,” Hoyer said. “He is the president of the United States, and he deserves some respect.”

“I’m certainly not a defender of the administration,” Hoyer reassured stunned observers, but Colbert “crossed the line” with many jokes that were “in bad taste.”

No, Mr. Hoyer. No, no, no. Here, let me explain to you what is "in bad taste".

Jokes about a sitting preznit jacking off a horse, perhaps? Little off-colour, maybe? You see, references to bestiality are perfectly OK ... as long as it's done "in good fun" (even if you have to explain to the kids what "milking the horse" means, I suppose).

How about 'jokes' about not finding weapons of mass destruction that were the raison d'etre for starting a war which has killed 2400 U.S. servicemen so far and many thousands of others? A war based on completely mangled intelligence and outright lies. Is that not hip-slappingly, rip-roaringly funny? Yep, nothing raises a laugh like jokes about why people's bodies are being violently dismembered by high explosives and supersonic metal projectiles traversing their bodies.

Yeah, these are "funny."

What's intolerable is to actually make some biting comments that actually point out what a bozo the preznit is and that he hasn't any clothes. No deviant sexual references, no humour in disrespect of the sacrifice of dead soldiers. Just a graduate dissertation on "truthiness". If you actually get too close to serious matters such as the rape of a nation and thousands of needless deaths, the people who bear part of the responsibility -- whether by commission or by assent -- lose some of their sense of humour.

But I think what really irks Hoyer ... and the local audience of slacker media that Colbert also skewered ... was the no-holds-barred needling of all the enablers in the media and the Democratic congressional caucus. Colbert was doing what Hoyer should be doing. And that has to hurt. Sorry, Hoyer, if it hurts, get a clue and go do your job. Until you do, I'll give my money this year to the few Democrats, like Feingold, who have a pair.

H/T to John Aravosis at AmericaBlog and Buzzflash for this story.